August 2017
Conscious Dating Singles News - July 2017




Kiss and Tell: Kissing Secrets Revealed!

By: Lori Ann Davis

Did you know that 90% of all cultures kiss? You can even find kissing in the animal world. Kissing is a part of everyday life for most people. We kiss as a form of communication, to show affection, to develop a bond, to collect information, to comfort each other, and because we enjoy it! Kissing is a great form of communication, to let someone know how much you care. It is also a way of reducing stress. Kissing actually lowers cortisol, the stress hormone.

In today's blog we are going to talk about the importance of kissing and how to kiss to keep the relationship going or to solidify a new relationship. That first kiss can make or break a new relationship. It might determine if you get a second date.

Men and women kiss for different reasons in the beginning of a relationship. Men usually are kissing to see if the woman is interested in them sexually and to entice her. For women, we kiss to collect information and to determine if we are interested in getting to know him better. The first kiss gives us key information into his personality.

When to kiss her

For all the men reading this, I imagine you are wondering how to kiss her to increase your odds of getting another date. Let’s start by deciding when to kiss her. The best approach is to lean into her, and if she doesn’t step back or lean away, it is time to give her a kiss. You can take that one step further and lean in 90% and let her lean in the rest of the way. You are looking for body language from her that says she is comfortable being close to you and is receptive or wanting a kiss.

How to kiss her

Now that you know when, let’s talk about how to kiss her for the first time. Remember she is collecting information from this kiss, so make it a softer, tender kiss to start with. Women do not like kisses that are too aggressive or invasive. Take it slow and let her lead. This is just a first kiss after all.


For couples, we start off with a great deal of kissing in the beginning of the relationship and then taper off as time goes on. Kissing is just as important once you are in a relationship as it was in the beginning. Kissing releases the chemical oxytocin which is the bonding hormone. Women are even more sensitive to this than men. So, the more women are kissed, the more bonded, loved and connected they feel to their partner. These are all good reasons to add more kissing to your day!

For the men, kissing is a great way to show her how you feel. Remember it is not always about sex. Kiss her just for the sake of kissing her with no expectations. Kiss her neck or her face and then walk away. Kiss her like you love her, not just like you want her. This will add romance to the relationship and will create a spark. Kissing helps couples feel connected, loved, and attached. After you have been together for a period of time, you have to work to keep passion alive in your relationship and kissing is one of the ways to do that!

Whether you are kissing for the first time or kissing to keep the passion alive, this is another area where understanding the differences between men and women is important for success.

Copyright © 2017 by Lori Ann Davis and The Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.

Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS empowers singles and couples to live richer, fuller, happier lives by helping them create unstoppable relationships. Lori is a Certified Relationship Specialist with over 25 years experience. For more information visit www.lorianndavis.com

Ask Our Coaches

My relationships never last and I don't know what to do?

Dear Coaches,

I'm 28 years old and I've never been in a relationship that lasts more than 6 months. I don't have any problems with finding boyfriends but I do have problems keeping one. I've been told that I can be "controlling", but I don't know how to change? I would really like to be in a long term relationship but I don't know what steps to take to get there.

Wendy Lyon

Wendy responds ...

Congratulations for taking the initiative and asking for support to create a long-term relationship! Perhaps your relationships haven't lasted very long because the boyfriends you've found aren't great long-term matches for you.

You asked for the steps to get there and here they are in a nutshell:

  1. Take some time to clarify your values – what really matters most to you.
  2. Decide what you must have in the right long-term relationship (and what you can’t tolerate).
  3. Believe you can have what you really want.
  4. Become your best, most authentic and enlightened version of you.
  5. Be very discerning about who you date and only date men who are good matches in all the ways that matter to you.
  6. Get support from a relationship coach if you need help with any of these steps.

I wish you well with finding a great long-term boyfriend.

Wendy Lyon | http://www.DrWendyLyon.com

The opinions stated are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the staff, members, or leadership of Relationship Coaching Institute.

This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your question here and it will be forwarded to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.



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