July 2017 | |
![]() |
|
IN THIS ISSUE:
|
|
FEATURED Article
|
|
Copyright © 2017 by Dr. Jackie Black and the Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.
|
|
Ask Our Coaches
|
|
My husband is too jealous. How do I get him to trust me?Dear Coaches,My husband has always been very jealous. We have been married for over 15 years and he hates to let me out of his sight for fear that some other man will flirt with me. He drives me to work and picks me up every day just because he wants my male coworkers to know I am "taken" and he gets very upset when a man even talks to me. In most other ways he's a great guy but I feel like he's smothering me with his jealousy and no matter how much I talk to him about it he doesn't change. What can I do to make him understand I can be trusted? ![]() Marcy responds...I am making the assumption you have given him no overt or covert reason to distrust you. Therefore, his attitude, thoughts and behaviors are totally his. You are owning his problems rather than allowing him to take possession of what is underlying his behavior. Start by releasing your hold on his problem and being a victim to his issues. Jealousy is an emotion and as such is usually a response or reaction to an event or situation that triggers a memory of an early in life experience. This very well could be the case with your husband. The direction to take which will probably get both of you better results is to uncover the root cause driving his beliefs. Your responsibility is not to put yourself on the defensive and try to make him understand you can be trusted. There really is nothing for you to defend. Since more often than not, a personal deep level reason as to what we do and how we show up in our relationship exists. Your responsibility, then as his wife is to help him heal and grow. You have tried talking-now consider the support of a third party neutral to facilitate this process. Marcy Rich | http://marcyrich.com ![]() Dr. Wendy responds...Thank you for sharing your concerns about your jealous husband. For over 15 years you've been tolerating this behavior and it sounds like you can't take any more of his smothering. So, what can you do to make him understand that you can be trusted? If your words and actions haven’t worked so far, I recommend that the two of you seek expert help from a relationship coach or counselor. This will give you both an impartial mediator and guide to help you understand the fears behind the jealousy, establish trust in your relationship and improve communication and intimacy between you. This is also an opportunity for both of you to clarify your needs and wants in your relationship and connect more deeply with each other. I wish you well and would be happy to support you on your journey to a more fulfilling marriage. Dr. Wendy Lyon | http://www.DrWendyLyon.com The opinions stated are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the staff, members, or leadership of Relationship Coaching Institute. This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your question here and it will be forwarded to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches. |
|
Announcements
|
|
For More Information . . .
|
|
for innovative relationship information, tools and strategies for couples
Ready to make some changes? |
|
Darlene Steele | Editor, Couple for Life News | CONTACT DARLENE Copyright © 2017 by Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. |