Relationship Coaching News
December 2006
Editor- David Steele
Founder and CEO
Relationship Coaching Institute
Copyright 2006 by Relationship Coaching Institute. All rights reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#1530-3055.
Conscious Dating:
Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World
Available at
F`ree!
Conscious
Relationship
Tele-Seminar Series
www.ConsciousRelationshipSeminars.com
Conscious
Relationship Podcast
www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
Conscious Relationship Article
Bank
www.ConsciousRelationshipArticles.com
If you received this from a friend and wish to subscribe, or are interested in our newsletters for Singles, Couples, or for Practice Building, visit www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/forms/subscribe.htm
Announcements
| 1 | F`ree Tele-Seminar: Creating Passive Income | December 6 |
| 2 | F'ree Tele-Seminar: Overcoming the Three Core Beliefs That Cause Relationship Failure | December 9 |
| 3 | Top 7 F`ree Ways to Get Clients | New e-Program! |
| 4 | F'ree Training: Introduction to Relationship Coaching | Tuesdays Dec 5, 12, 19 |
| 5 | Win an iPod! | Feb 14 |
F`REE
TELE-SEMINAR: Wednesday December 6- 9am Pacific/12pm Eastern/5pm UK
Developing Passive Income
with David Steele and Jeff Herring
Would you like to earn income while you sleep? Passive income is revenue you earn without your direct involvement. You can vacation in the Bahamas and your business continues to maintain it's cash flow!
In this seminar you will learn:
- Three types of income
- Why passive income is the best kind
- Five types of passive income for helping professionals
- How to leverage your current business to earn passive income
-
How to get started, with or without a website
Don't miss this teleseminar!
No need to register. This seminar is F`REE for subscribers of our f`ree
monthly practice-building newsletter GETTING CLIENTS
To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com
Can't attend? No problem. The recording of this program will be available for 30 days as our Seminar of the Month
Please share with your colleagues!
F`ree
Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar:
December Program
Thursday, December 9, 2006, 5:30pm pacific/8:30pm eastern
Overcoming the Three Core Beliefs That Cause
Relationship Failure
With Paul and Layne Cutright
If you have even one of these beliefs your relationships don't stand more than a 5% chance of success.
It's not what you consciously think that determines the quality of your relationships, but what you subconsciously believe. Until you are able to observe the hidden thoughts, beliefs and feelings that occupy your subconscious mind, and learn to change them, you are doomed to continue repeating the same old patterns in your relationships.
Paul and Layne will share intimately about how they transformed their own unhappy relationships into a lasting, loving, mutually empowering personal and professional partnership that has lasted thirty years. If you ever wonder why your relationships don't last or seem to work out, you will want to hear what Layne and Paul have to say.
In this teleseminar you will learn:
- how to access your subconscious mind to root out self-sabotage
- how to avoid getting sucked into the abyss of endless "processing"
- why you need direct access to your Superconscious mind and how to get it
- the truth about affirmations and why they often don't work for people
- and much more . . .
No need to register! As a subscriber you will receive a reminder with the telephone bridge number needed to join a few days prior to the seminar.
Can't attend? No problem. The recordings of all our programs are available f`ree at www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
Please share with your colleagues!
New
e-Program!
Top 7 F`ree Ways to Get Clients
. . . Because the most effective ways to get clients and
build your private practice don't cost anything!
In this e-program David Steele and Jeff Herring reveal their top seven f`ree ways to get clients and market your private practice.
Here is what you get when you register-
Day 1 - How to Create an Effortless Referral System
Day 2 - Talk Your Way to More Clients
Day 3 - Write Your Way to More Clients
Day 4 - Our Top Strategy for Creating Prospects
Day 5 - Automated Client Magnets
Day 6 - Network Your Way to More Clients
Day 7 - Our Top Strategy for Enrolling New Clients
(Hint- it's NOT the "Complimentary Session")
This program doesn't cost anything, it's easy to join, and it will knock your socks off!
Register here!
F`REE TRAINING:
Introduction to Relationship Coaching
Starts December 5th
Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.
Introduction to Relationship Coaching includes 3 one-hour tele-classes, Tuesdays, October 3, 10 and 17, 2006; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.
| Class #1 | How to Coach Singles | Dec 5 |
| Class #2 | How to Coach Couples | Dec 12 |
| Class #3 | How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice | Dec 19 |
Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice.
Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION.
Please share with your colleagues! To register or for more information, visit /forms/freeteleclass.htm
Conscious
Dating Success Story of the Year Contest
For the one year anniversary of the publication of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World on February 14, 2007 (Valentine's Day) we'll announce the results of our first annual- Conscious Dating Success Story of the Year Contest.
We're awarding an iPod loaded with 20 of our best Conscious Relationship Audio Programs ($369.00 value) to-
- Best male success story
- Best female success story
- Referrer of best male success story
- Referrer of best female success story
This means that if you know someone who could benefit from reading Conscious Dating, or someone who has read it and has a great success story, YOU can also win by referring them!
Submissions will be judged by the staff of Relationship Coaching Institute. To be eligible entrants must certify that they have read the Conscious Dating book. Current and past members and staff of Relationship Coaching Institute are not eligible to enter this contest. All submissions become property of Relationship Coaching Institute and by entering this contest entrants grant us permission to publish their story online and in print.
- Do you have a success story to share? Go immediately to www.consciousdating.com/contest.htm
- Know anyone with a success story to share? Please forward this announcement to them!
- Know a single who hasn't read Conscious Dating and is a success story in the making? With 6 months to go there is plenty of time to learn and apply the principles of Conscious Dating. Please send them to www.consciousdating.com
Let the contest begin!
Feature
Article:
The Chemistry of Love
By Linda Marshall, RCI Director of Couples Programs
...love is not an emotion but a physiological drive as powerful as hunger
As we noted in last month’s article, phenylethylamine (PEA for
short) acts as a “love drug” stimulating feelings of euphoria
during the early stage of a relationship. We noted that this altered state
of infatuation suppresses the part of our brain designed to warn and protect
us from danger.
Author, anthropology professor, and human behavior researcher, Helen
Fisher, Ph.D., is one of the major researchers in the field of interpersonal
chemistry. She has studied romantic love in 170 societies and found it
to be a universal phenomenon and bears all the basic characteristics of
addiction. In her research, she has found that MRI images of the brain
reveal that the cognitive area of our brain actually loses blood
when we are in love!
Dr. Fisher’s research has revealed that there are different hormones
driving sex, romance, and attachment; the three most common aspects of
love. Fisher reveals that love is not an emotion but a physiological drive
as powerful as hunger. Romantic love is actually a basic drive that has
evolved for the purposes of mating and reproduction.
SEX
The sex drive is driven by testosterone--a libido-enhancing, energy producing
chemical secreted in the testes of males and ovaries of females. On average,
the men produce about twenty times more testosterone than women. What
do you suppose that means?
ROMANCE
In the breathless phase of romantic attraction we are elated, full and
overflowing with energy, and obsessed with our love interest, thinking
of them almost every waking second and often dreaming of them while we
sleep. This is a period of extreme pleasure in which we feel more alive
and are more alert; thinking and acting more quickly than usual.
This response is involuntary and enhanced by increased levels of naturally-occurring dopamine and norepinephrine. Novelty of any kind, especially when infatuated in a new relationship, increases levels of these two chemicals in our brains. The elevated activity of these two “love drugs” increases the production of testosterone, linking our attraction to someone with our desire for them sexually. It is a time when sexual tension is overpowering.
An interesting phenomenon that occurs simultaneously is a decrease in
serotonin, the chemical that eases tension and produces a sensation of
relaxation. Our system is truly excited and experiencing a sustained “high."
During this time we focus our attention on our love interest and everything
that occurs between us takes on special meaning. Along with our euphoria
commonly comes swings of insecurity and fear that our love interest isn’t
as interested as we. We develop an emotional dependence upon the other
and experience separation anxiety when not in their presence. Our craving
for emotional union is intense and difficult to control. We can become
possessive as we guard our lover from the intrusion of any outside threat.
We are protecting life’s greatest prize--a mating partner.
Fisher states that in general, men are more visually stimulated because
their brains are wired to accommodate their search for a woman to give
them healthy babies, while the memory part of a woman’s brain is
wired to accommodate her need to find a man who keeps his promises. And
thus this ensures the survival of our species.
ATTACHMENT
And, love changes over time. Eventually the euphoria subsides as we settle
into the next phase, attachment, characterized by feelings of security
and calm. At this point, oxytocin and vasopressin are the chemicals at
play in our bodies. Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both the male
and the female. In the brain, both these chemicals are involved in social
behavior and bonding. Researchers believe these chemicals are in play
in supporting the formation of trust between two people and the bond they
experience during sexual activity.
FOUR BASIC PERSONALITY TYPES
Dr. Fisher is the guiding force behind the matching technology of the
on-line dating service, Chemistry.com. It has long been known that we
tend to be attracted to people similar to ourselves—with the same
ethnic, social, religious, educational and economic background. This also
extends to our attraction to people with a similar amount of physical
attractiveness, a comparable intelligence and parallel attitudes, expectations,
values, and interests.
What is only beginning to be known is that the chemicals in our bodies
affect our personalities. Dr. Fisher has identified four personality styles
that accompany the characteristic dominant level of one of four hormones-
dopamine, serotonin, estrogen, and testosterone. These personality styles
are also predictive of whom we are more likely to be attracted.
Higher Dopamine = “Explorer”
Someone with high levels of dopamine Fisher calls an “Explorer.”
What makes an explorer a desirable partner is their high energy, high
creativity, and spontaneity. They tend to be artistic and seek novelty,
risk, and pleasure. They are intellectually curious and not easily swayed
by the opinions of others. The challenges in relating to an explorer are
their propensity toward addiction and their tendency to philander.
Higher Serotonin = “Builder”
Someone with high levels of serotonin Fisher calls a “Builder.”
What makes a builder a desirable partner is their calm demeanor and low
anxiety. They have a deep attachment to their home and family and are
often consistent, loyal, and protective of those they love. They have
managerial skill; are sympathetic and cooperative. They work hard and
have a lot of common sense. Their patience gives them the ability to complete
detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people. The challenge
in relating to a builder is their propensity to be “right”
and to know the “right way” to do things.
Higher Estrogen = “Negotiator”
Someone with high levels of estrogen Fisher calls a “Negotiator.”
What makes a negotiator a desirable partner is their idealistic, big picture
thinking. They are relational, egalitarian, non-hierarchical, intuitive,
flexible, and excel at long-term planning and consensus building. They
usually have high verbal and social skills, tending to be networkers who
are imaginative, capable of deep empathy, and nurturing. The challenge
in relating to a negotiator is their absolute need to establish a deep
connection with you.
Higher Testostrone = “Director”
Someone with high levels of testosterone she calls a “Director.”
What makes a director a desirable partner is their daring, originality,
directness, and inventiveness. They usually are good leaders who are conscious
of rank and appropriate behavior. Achieving positions of power and influence
often comes easily to them. They can be very assertive and tough minded,
focusing on schedules, rules, and routines. They tend to be competitive
and efficient. As an independent thinker, they are skilled at abstract
thinking and short-term planning. The challenge in relating to a director
is their mental inflexibility and limited social sensitivity.
According to Fisher, Builders are best matched with Explorers, and Directors
are best matched with Negotiators. Negotiators, with their flexibility,
empathy, and nurturing abilities, are compatible and sought after by all
the other personality styles.
This part of Dr. Fisher’s work is so new that we learned about them
from attending a lecture and at this writing there is little published
information about these personality types. We look forward to learning
more about her work and sharing with you in the future.
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?
Conscious Mating requires we understand what motivates us, what
we are feeling and why we are feeling it. We are complex creatures driven
by primal biological forces as well as our higher cognitive abilities.
Successful relationships depends upon our ability to make good long-term
partner choices and understanding the chemistry of love enables us to
"balance our heart with our head."
© 2006 Relationship Coaching Institute– All rights reserved.
Linda
Marshall, M.Div., lives in Centerville, Ohio and is Director of Couples
Programs for Relationship Coaching Institute as well as in private practice
as a relationship coach specializing in working with couples, both over
the telephone and in person.
Invitations
Invitation #1
Please share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a tremendous
need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching
is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and
position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful
relationship.
Invitation #2
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings
24 hours a day at your convenience by visiting
/audio/index.htm (some
are available by telephone)
- Commitment: The Secret Ingredient to Relationship Happiness
- The Communication Map™
- Introduction to Relationship Coaching
- Conscious Dating for Relationship Success
- Conscious Mating: Is This the Right Relationship for Me?
- And more!
Invitation #3
I invite you to join
our f`ree
Introduction to Relationship Coaching tele-training.
Invitation #4
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES,
our newsletter for COUPLES, or our GETTTING CLIENTS newsletter, visit
/forms/subscribe.htm
Invitation #5
To learn more about Relationship Coaching this article is
a great place to start-
Relationship Coaching: New Hope for Singles and Couples
Invitation #6
To learn more about Relationship Coaching Institute check out-
RCI:
More Than Relationship Coaching Training
How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....
Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
David@RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
http://www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org
http://www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
http://www.BuildingYourIdealPractice.com
http://www.PrivatePracticeMarketingPodcast.com
http://www.PrivatePracticeMagic.com
http://www.privatepracticemarketingonabudget.com
http://www.consciousrelationshipresources.com
http://www.ConsciousRelationshipSeminars.com
http://www.ConsciousRelationshipArticles.com
http://www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
http://www.ConsciousRelationshipSpeaker.com
http://www.ConsciousDating.com
http://www.ConsciousDating.org
http://www.consciousmating.com
http://www.consciousmating.org
http://www.PartnersInLife.org
http://www.DavidSteeleOnline.com
http://www.myspace.com/davidasteele
Telephone: 888.268.4074
For More Information
For Past Issues of this Newsletter
/newsletter/archive.htm
Our Purpose
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform,
and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find
fulfillment in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!
Our Mission
To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the
love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create
fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.
Copyright Notice
This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Feel free
to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship
is included.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055
Links to Us
Relationship Coaching Institute
F`ree introductory training!
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
BuildingYourIdealPractice.com
F`ree monthly tele-seminars!
http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com
Conscious Dating for Singles
F`ree audio programs, e-programs, and more!
www.ConsciousDating.org
Partners in Life for Couples
F`ree audio programs, e-programs, and more!
www.PartnersInLife.org
F`ree Monthly Conscious Relationship Tele-Seminar Series
www.ConsciousRelationshipSeminars.com
F`ree Conscious Relationship Audio Programs
www.ConsciousRelationshipPodcast.com
Member of Relationship Coaching Network
F`ree resources for singles, couples and professionals
http://www.relationshipcoachingnetwork.org