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------------------------------------------------------------- Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff. "Introduction to Relationship Coaching"- 3 one-hour teleclasses, Tuesdays, Oct 5, 12, 19, 2004; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern. -Oct 5: Class #1: How to Coach Singles Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice. Please share with your colleagues! Register here. Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION. --------------------------------------------------------------- Growing Your Practice with eCommerce I've known James for years and have tremendous appreciation and respect for his commitment to providing effective and affordable ecommerce solutions for helping solopreneurs succeed in private practice. This seminar will cover:
Don't miss this seminar- put it on your calendar today! No need to register. This seminar is FREE for subscribers of our free monthly practice-building newsletter How to Get Clients. To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com Please share with your colleagues! --------------------------------------------------------------- Advanced Strategies for Converting Prospects to Clients with special guest Master Sales Trainer Eric Lofholm In this seminar you will learn:
Eric Lofholm is a Master Sales Trainer who has trained tens of thousands of sales professionals nationwide. He is President and CEO of Eric Lofholm International, Inc., an organization he founded to serve the needs of sales professionals worldwide. Many of America's top companies hire Eric regularly to train, motivate, and inspire their sales teams. His clients have added millions of dollars in sales to their record after attending Eric's energetic and groundbreaking seminars. ---------------------------------------------------------------- I will be piloting this program for the first time and offering it at no charge to members of RCI and purchasers of my "How to Get Clients Toolkit." Later in the fall I will add this training to our Practice Building Membership Programs Wednesdays, September 8 - October 27 Free if you are a member of RCI or with your purchase of the “How to Get Clients Toolkit!” Here is an idea of what I have in mind so far: Class #1: Clearing Obstacle to Success All are covered in the How to Get Clients Toolkit. This training will be an opportunity for us to go in-depth on each topic and address your specific challenges, questions, and situation. Each teleclass will be recorded and available by internet audio for those that were not able to attend. Being a pilot program I will be requesting your feedback, suggestions, and testimonials to help me officially launch this program later in the fall. Registration information will be sent to RCI members and “Toolkit” purchasers in a few days. Deadline- To be eligible to join this pilot program at no charge, you must join RCI or purchase your “How to Get Clients Toolkit” by Tuesday, September 7th To order your How to Get Clients Toolkit visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com ---------------------------------------------------------------- ~ September 1; Singles Coaching with Lynne Michelson Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, 2:00pm pacific/5pm eastern. The RCI Member Support Forum meets Wednesdays at 11am pacific/2pm eastern. A reminder including the bridge # is sent prior to each call on our listserv. Welcome New RCI Coaches!The following coaches joined our ranks this past month: Deborah Greenaway, Higgins, Australia THANK YOU for telling your colleagues about RCI! Congrats!CONGRATS TO Frances Amaroux, (Australia) who writes:
CONGRATS TO Bridget Brennan (St. Louis, MO) who writes:
CONGRATS TO Yvonne Chase (Brooklyn, NY) who writes:
CONGRATS TO Char Warman (Cincinnati, OH) who writes: Want to report a win on this, my 51st birthday! I just had the first media coverage of my coaching practice. It's a lovely article that appeared today in Suburban Life, my community's weekly newspaper. The article came as a result of a press release I'd sent 6 weeks earlier. When the call came from the reporter, I was totally surprised but agreed to be interviewed and photographed that afternoon. There's something to be said for being readily available when the media calls!
--------------------------------------------------------- Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen! It is my honor to be part of this community that is making such a difference in the lives and relationships of others. Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your RCI coaching 'find the love of their life and the life that they love?' Please pass it on and we'll celebrate it! Feature ArticleCoaching Or Therapy? When In Doubt, Refer It OutBy David Steele An RCI Coach posted this query from a prospective client on our discussion list this month, and asked how to determine if this person is a candidate for coaching or therapy: "I am in crisis and wanted to know if you can help me. I have had a series of failed relationships, the most recent one feeling horrendously painful. I can't seem to be able to move on from the pain. Can you let me know what you could offer and how much you would charge?" I've seen this come up again and again, so here is my take on it: DEFINITION OF TERMS From my point of view:
WHAT DO YOU WANT? The primary starting point of a coach is "What do you want?" If someone asks you what you can offer or do for them, this is the appropriate response. Based upon their answer, you will then get the information you need to ask enough questions to determine if they are ready for coaching, really want "therapy," or require clinical intervention.
Also, explain that “Coaching helps you focus on your future goals and creating the life you want” and go ahead and ask “Do you feel ready to do that?” It is amazing how accurate a client's self-assessment can be. COACHING OR THERAPY OR CLINICAL INTERVENTION? Prior to working with a client, it is usually impossible to definitively determine if someone is a candidate for coaching or therapy. More importantly, I would want to know if someone is ready for coaching or do they require clinical intervention. If you have any doubt, refer them out for clinical assessment. You could always coach them while their mental health needs are diagnosed and addressed. Do they just need to get on with life, or do they need treatment? Is their emotional pain Grief, which is normal and will pass on its own (with non-clinical support), or is it Clinical Depression, which, if left untreated, could result in suicide? The symptoms of Grief and Depression appear the same. If they say they want/need to process the past (what happened in their last relationship, identifying their dysfunctional patterns, etc), I would refer them to therapy. If they say they want to move forward, I would start some Vision work with them and see what happens. Often, people are able to let go of emotional pain/stuckness when they are excited about their future. What I fall back upon is that "coaching is harmless." You are not going to do any damage to someone trying to help them focus on their goals using recognized coaching skills and tools, if that is what they want to do. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work; then you refer them to therapy. I call this "Reverse Diagnosis" when you determine the need for therapy by starting with coaching. ASSESSING NEED FOR CLINICAL INTERVENTION The only exception to the "coaching is harmless" point of view is if someone is so dysfunctional that they require clinical intervention, and coaching them prevents them from getting the help they need. If they are that dysfunctional, hopefully it would be obvious enough to identify in your initial consultation with a few questions, and you refer them to their physician, a psychiatrist, or licensed mental health professional ( psychologist, marriage and family therapist, licensed clinical social worker, etc) right away. Notice that the person contacting our coach reported “I am in crisis,” which can mean many things and requires asking questions and getting more information. You can assess for basic functioning is simply asking them about their sleeping, eating, work, family, social and recreational routines. If you get an indication they are not functioning well, and by asking learn that they are sleeping significantly more or less than normal (for them), eating significantly more or less than normal (for them), are missing work or not doing well on the job (and they were doing well before), are withdrawn from their family or friends (and were not before), have dropped long-standing recreational routines and interests, then they might need clinical intervention. Ask about their history as well; often, this would not be the first time, and if they required clinical intervention in the past, it is a risk factor that they might need it again. Ask if they are on any anti-depressant medications or have taken any in the past, which is a typical course of treatment if a physician determined they needed help functioning. Symptoms like decreased energy and libido are important to note, but are characteristic of grief as well, and do not alone indicate the need for therapy or that coaching is contra-indicated. CONCLUSION Whether to coach someone or refer them out is a judgment call in which there is no right answer. Your best starting point is what your client wants and thinks they are ready for. You could always start coaching them, if that is what they want, AND refer them for therapy or clinical assessment if you identify the need. Coaching them and focusing on creating the life they want might get them out of their depression and pain, and if it doesn't, then referral for therapy or clinical intervention might be necessary. Or, they might just not be ready for coaching at the time, and need time to process where they are at before they are ready to move on. Therapy might be helpful for this, but is certainly not required in all cases as people can move through emotional pain and heal through time on their own. Whether the client needs coaching or therapy might be too fine a line to determine, and it's probably not your responsibility to judge. The important questions are
Bottom line…
© 2004 by David Steele / All rights reserved / www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com Invitations:
How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome! Until next time.... Best regards, PAST ISSUES OF THIS NEWSLETTER CAN BE FOUND HERE The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships. This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome! Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships. Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055 To subscribe to our newsletters, visit here. |
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