Relationship Coaching News
March 2004

In this issue:

1. Announcements
2. Congrats
3. Feature Article: “The Miracle of Connection, Part II”
4. Invitations

Announcements

1. Free Training Begins April 6th
2. Free Tele-Seminar March 3rd- "Converting Prospects to Clients"
3. Free "Adventures in Intimacy" Audio Programs
4. A Special Opportunity for Helping Professionals
5. Practice Building Intensive starts April 1st
6. "Conscious Dating" Website for RCI Coaches Ready for Beta Testing
7. RCI Conference Calls

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1. FREE TRAINING BEGINS APRIL 6TH

Learn how to coach singles, couples, and develop a successful Relationship Coaching practice, taught by RCI founder David Steele and his teaching staff.

"Introduction to Relationship Coaching"- 3 one-hour teleclasses, Tuesdays, April 6, 13, 20, 2004; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern.

-April 6: Class #1: How to Coach Singles
-April 13: Class #2: How to Coach Couples
-April 20: Class #3: How to Build a Successful Relationship Coaching Practice

Each class includes practical information and materials you can use immediately in your practice.

Please share with your colleagues! To register, visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/forms/freeteleclass.htm

Can't make our training dates/times? Each class is recorded for those unable to attend, and we also offer an ON-LINE VERSION. For more info visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/forms/freeteleclass.htm

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2. FREE TELE-SEMINAR WEDNESDAY MARCH 3RD

CONVERTING PROSPECTS TO CLIENTS
with David Steele and Dr. Jackie Black

This program will cover how to:
- Avoid common and costly marketing mistakes
- Use your "complimentary session" effectively
- Handle objections such as "I can't afford it right now"
- Guarantee your success in private practice!

9am pacific/Noon eastern on Wednesday March 3rd.

Watch for the bridge # to be e-mailed separately in a reminder to our subscribers a few days prior.

No need to register. This seminar is FREE for subscribers of our free monthly practice-building newsletter How to Get Clients.

To subscribe and receive your invitation to this seminar, please visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com

Next Month's Program:
OWNING YOUR NICHE BY SPONSORING A NICHE COMMUNITY

Don't miss this seminar- put it on your calendar today!
Please share with your colleagues!

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3. FREE "ADVENTURES IN INTIMACY" AUDIO PROGRAMS

-THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION, PART I
A 22 minute presentation by Hedy Schleifer in which she shares intimately about her relationship with her husband and what she is learning.

-THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION, PART II
A 37 minute presentation by Hedy covering how relationships work and how to achieve a fulfilling relationship.

-HOW FUNCTIONAL COUPLES CAN GROW THEIR RELATIONSHIP
A conference call of 3 couples discussing how they use the tools taught in Hedy and Yumi Schliefer’s "Adventures in Intimacy" workshop in their everyday life.

-ADVENTURES IN INTIMACY
A 57 minute interview of Hedy and Yumi discussing relationships and their work with couples around the world.

To access these audio recordings, please visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

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4. A SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY FOR HELPING PROFESSIONALS

RCI will be sponsoring "Adventures in Intimacy," a workshop for couples conducted by Hedy and Yumi Schleifer, March 19-22, 2004, in the San Francisco Bay Area for RCI Coaches and other helping professionals who wish to bring their own relationship to the next level, as well as learn relationship tools and skills from these master trainers.

-For helping professionals and their partners (non-professional couples welcome)

-Bonus 4th workshop day for discussion, sharing, connection, deepening learning

-Exceptional price break and "mentor/buddy couple" discount

The first three days will be the "Adventures in Intimacy" workshop for couples, and the fourth day is a gift from Hedy and Yumi to connect more intimately with them, and each other, to deepen your learning about relationships.

The location is the beautiful Scotts Valley Hilton in the Santa Cruz Mountains, 20 minutes from San Jose International Airport, 5 minutes to the Santa Cruz beaches, one hour to Monterey/Carmel and San Francisco. We were able to negotiate a significant discount on the workshop and lodging for you.

If you are a helping professional in a relationship, this workshop is for YOU. Please consider joining us for this one-time opportunity.

For more information visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

Please share with your colleagues this unique and outstanding opportunity to combine your personal and professional relationship learning.

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5. BUILD YOUR IDEAL PRACTICE IN 90 DAYS

Register Now for April Practice Building Intensive!

- Ready to build your ideal practice?
- Want to work less and make more?
- Would you like to learn how you can actually have fun building and marketing your business?

If so, then join our April Practice Building Intensive!

We will meet for 12 weeks on every Thursday at 12 noon EST beginning April 8th, and you will learn everything you need to have a successful private practice.

This step-by-step program includes:

• E-book version of "How To Build Your Ideal Practice In 90 Days"
• Weekly assignments with all the step-by-step instructions needed to complete them
• Weekly consultation teleclass, Thursdays 9am pacific/Noon eastern, recorded for your listening convenience (web audio recordings also available)
• E-mail discussion list for your questions, ideas, feedback, and support
• Discounted spot coaching available if needed
• Access to our exclusive Practice Development Resource Bank, Knowledge Bank, and Audio Catalogue for the best "how to" information and free/low cost practice-building resources
• Alternative programs to fit your needs and budget: On-line version, Group Tele-program, and Individual

Facilitated by David Steele, Mentor Coach and Author of "How To Build Your Ideal Practice In 90 Days," and Jackie Black, Ph.D., President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com.

And the REALLY great news is that this program is very affordable. Now is the time to jump in and get the information and support you need to build your ideal practice.

For more information visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com/practicebuildingintensive.html

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6. "CONSCIOUS DATING" WEBSITE FOR RCI COACHES READY FOR BETA TESTING

These things always take longer than expected, but our "Conscious Dating" branded website for RCI coaches is ready for beta testing.

Please check it out at http://sv.consciousdating.org/

If you are single, please click "Find Your Conscious Match" an post your profile- it’s free! This will help us test the system, and it could help you find your soul mate.

In a month or so we will launch "Conscious Dating" branded turn-key business packages for Certified and Master RCI coaches that wish to be leaders of relationship coaching for singles in their area or niche, including:

-"Conscious Dating" branded website, all content included -On-line dating feature for passive income -Customizable for your area or niche
-User-modifiable area for calendar, schedule of events, etc.
-Monthly e-mail newsletter, templates for forms and business cards, etc.
-Mentoring and technical support (you will NOT be alone!)
-And more!

Our intention is to help you become wildly successful as the top resource for conscious singles in your area or niche.

Please visit http://sv.consciousdating.org/ and let us know what you think.

We are doing this for you- your comments and suggestions are welcome!

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7. RCI COACH CONFERENCE CALLS

~ March 2; Singles Coaching with Lynne Michelson
~ March 9; Practice Development with Jackie Black
~ March 16; Couples Coaching with Linda Marshall
~ EVERY MONDAY; RCI Member Support Tele-Forum with David Steele

Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Tuesday of each month, 2:00pm pacific/5pm eastern. The RCI Member Support Forum meets Mondays at 3pm eastern. A reminder including the bridge # is sent prior to each call on our listserv.

Congrats!

CONGRATS TO Marvin Cohen (San Jose, CA) who is conducting the very first RESTS program at Esalen, the revered birthplace of the new age movement in CA: Esalen Institute Workshop: "Finding Love: Relationship Success for Singles", May 16 – 21, 2004. http://www.RCISV.org/EsalenWorkshop

Marvin Cohen (http://www.RCISV.org/marvbio.htm ), President, Relationship Coaching Institute Silicon Valley (RCISV), Cofounder of RCI, and wife Narrye Caldwell-Cohen (http://www.journeytowholeness.org/ ) will present a 5 day residential, experiential training designed for both singles desiring a life-partner and people wanting clarity in their existing relationships.

Known as the "Carnegie Hall" of human potential, Esalen Institute (http://www.esalen.org/) was founded in 1962. Rich in history, it is located on the magnificent Big Sur Coastline of California.

To register, or for more information: www.RCISV.org/EsalenWorkshop

CONGRATS TO Tonja Weimer (Greenville, SC) who writes:

"I am happy to announce that I have an article in the April issue of HOUSE BEAUTIFUL, which came out today. It is titled "Cowboys and Indians" and appears on page 50. I am also featured on the Contributor's Page on page 26.

Thanks to the R.C.I. staff and coaches for all your support, knowledge, and marketing ideas. I feel truly blessed to know you."

Tonja Weimer
http://www.tonjaweimer.com

CONGRATS TO Marcy Rich (Scottsdale, AZ) who writes:

"Thought it was time to give some feedback and updates. I joine RCI two years ago and started with high energy...loved what you were offering. Then I took a hiatus although stayed in touch via email etc. The break I took was because I made a change in my life and it became a major focus for me. I modified my eating behaviors, started an intense (at least for me) workout program and lost 40 pounds and went down 4 sizes. Can I tell you, I look great!!:-).

My resolve for this year is to get back into coaching. So at end of last year took couples I and now in couples II. I have a new company name and logo and am working on my website. Joined a local coaching support group, have done a couple of trade shows and one to come, and doing networking and starting workshops. I am thrilled where I am right now.

So, the part about you: now that I am determined to move forward, I have worked on all my RCI materials, organizing them, utilizing them etc. I realized how fantastic and great they are. I wanted to thank you (are those words enough?) for all you offer for us to do our business. Your articles and such have been a huge help for me and a terrific springboard. You have done much work and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Marcy Rich ,M.A.
Marcy@heightenedconnections.com

CONGRATS TO Francine Robinson (Vancouver, Canada) who writes:

"Wanted to share my success with you. I was on T.V. yesterday on a local station. Was asked to do a five minute segment on"Sharing appreciation" as Valentines is near. It was fabulous. My first time...the intensity of fear for several weeks was quite overwhelming but did it anyway. Thank you David for all the wonderful information and support you provide."

CONGRATS TO Mari Smith (San Diego, CA)

"Just wanted to follow up with you about my TV interview yesterday! The segment was very brief with mostly live shots of an actual speed-dating event and the presenter shared tips that I'd given her in my interview and then they showed about a 30 second piece of my (3 minute!) interview. It was perfect; I was very pleased with the result and have received so much positive feedback from my community.

On a marketing angle -- after the interview, which was shot earlier in the day at the studio - I realized here was a potential opportunity for collaboration. I called the speed-dating company and invited myself to attend the event in the evening. The owner was very receptive and I was able to circulate with the 110 participants, introduce myself, promote my coaching and workshops, hand out flyers etc.! :-) BTW, I saw the obvious need for dating/relating skills that speed-dating attendees have!"

Mari Smith
http://www.MillionDollarRelationships.com

CONGRATS TO Yvonne Chase (Brooklyn, NY) who writes:

I did my first TV appearance today on Good Day NY and it was amazing! I want to say thank you to Marcia Augustine, Salila Shen, Victoria and the many other coaches that got back to me on my posting about community.

The segment focused on a popular TV show Girlfriends and the importance of having great people/girlfriends in your life. We also touched on how to be a good girlfriend and how to draw good people into your life. I use this show quite frequently to make key points about relationships in my newsletter and that is why I was selected to speak on this segment. The feedback that I received from everyone was wonderful!

One of my girlfriends is responsible for me being on the show. The producer loved the show - everyone thought it was great and they Want me back. Once I get a copy of the show in hand, I will put it on My website - which will be redesigned real soon.

Thank you RCI coaches for all of your help and support!"

CONGRATS TO Tara Kachaturoff (Birmingham, MI) who writes:

"Friday afternoon I was a guest on a Cable television talk show in the Detroit area. I talked about various aspects of the RESTS program which I have modified and teach through workshops and seminars. I used the RESTS material myself for the first time 3 years ago and as a result found the love of my life to whom I'm engaged. (This stuff works!)

Now I am sharing it with others and adding all sorts of other materials around it. The PBI program has been the best thing ever. I have done the three month miracle exercise a number of times and it has brought incredible change, growth, and personal satisfaction and reward to my business and lifestyle coaching practice. Probably one of the most important things I have done is to create two distinct niches (per David's direction) -- to work with my executive/professional/entrepreneur clients on business related coaching and singles on lifestyle/relationship issues. It made things a lot easier to deal with.

In less than a year, I managed to get access to all three media outlets, talk radio, Detroit News, and now television. All of this seemed like it was so far out there and for someone else. Now I'm ready to go out there and do more of it. It is amazing to see how the PBI matures your business vision and takes you to places you could only dream about. But, the wonderful thing is its not a dream...its real. While I usually listen to the calls offline due to meetings on Thursdays, I want to say "hello" to all and thank you for sharing your business issues, insights, and most of all the supportive atmosphere you all bring to the call. Thanks to David for bringing us all together...for me, first through RCI, and now through the PBI. Both organizations have had tremendous influence on my personal and professional development."

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Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen! It is my honor to be part of this community that is making such a difference in the lives and relationships of others.

Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your coaching 'find the love of their life and the life that they love?' Please pass it on and we'll celebrate it!

Feature Article

THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION, PART II
By David Steele

Last month I summarized what I learned from Hedy Schleifer’s presentation "The Miracle of Connection: Dissolving the Power Struggle."

The text is available at: http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/newsletter/2004-02.htm#FeatureArticle
The audio is available at: http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

Hedy’s main message, as I saw it, was captured in this quote from her presentation:

"Intimacy and love expands our essence, and can deepen and grow infinitely."

I was amazed by her perspective on the frontier of what i possible in relationships, and was hungry to learn more. I asked Hedy to expand on this topic and we arranged for her to join a conference call from Istanbul, where she and Yumi were visiting their new grandchild. The audio of this conference call is also available at: http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

As before, I wish to share with you the important content of her presentation, but cannot possibly do justice to the way Hedy speaks from her heart and wisdom in her melodious voice and loving presence, so in this article I will simply summarize her main points and strongly recommend listening to her presentation yourself, which essentially is a pretty comprehensive education in how relationships work.

MAIN POINTS TO "THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION, PART II

1. 1. We are social beings. As our society evolves our relationships can evolve as well.
2. Our essential nature is in connection
3. Most couples stumble into connection every once in a while, few are able to sustain it.
4. We are attracted to "incompatible" people. Our differences create opportunities for connection.
5. Three primary stages of relationship:
   1. Romantic attraction (unconsciously drawn to partner, stimulated by differences)
   2. Power Struggle (unconsciously resist differences)
   3. Conscious Relationship (able to accept, embrace differences)
6. Phenylethylamine (or PEA- a natural amphetamine) is the hormone that attracts us to our partner, and in our excitement we overlook differences ("love is blind"- a "trick of nature"). This hormone also exists in red roses.
7. Oxytocin (the "cuddle drug"), the same hormone secreted after orgasm and by nursing mothers, becomes activated in good relationships in the presence of our long-term partner and makes us feel connected and blissful just being with them.
8. Conflict is growth knocking at the door, maturity trying to be born, a natural result of the unfolding of our essential nature in a relationship.
9. When we learn and apply the tools to resolve conflict we evolve into our true essential nature.
10. Resolving conflict can be hard at first, and can become second nature when we are able to use our tension to connect.
11. Resolving conflict starts with taming the "Yeah-But Monster" and being fully present, holding our partner in their experience with a completely open mind, resulting in "Limbic Resonance."
12. "Limbic Resonance" results in "Limbic Regulation" as both nervous systems connect and relax together, a blissful state of essence that allows us to let go and transcend even our biggest differences.
13. The pre-frontal lobe is the seat of consciousness in the brain, and allows us to hold many realities at the same time and transform reactivity into intentionality.
14. You attain your wholeness and connection when you learn to give your partner what is hardest for you to give.
15. "Happiness" and "Fulfillment" are different: Happiness is limited and unconscious, prone to boredom, saturation and satiation. Fulfillment is conscious, unlimited and infinite.
16. During a power struggle, when it seems there are only two alternatives, pick the third.
17. Alternatives to resolving power struggle:
    1. Divorce
    2. Lower expectations, adapt, cope
    3. Conscious relationship that allows you to transcend differences
18. 10/90 Principle- 10% of what is difficult for us is in the present, 90% is in the past.
19. The relationship exists in the sacred space between the couple. When you honor it and make that space safe it is the source of healing, love and connection. "The marriage IS the therapy."

To listen to THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION, parts I and II, please visit
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

To learn these skills for your own relationship and to experience Hedy and Yumi’s love and wisdom for yourself, please join us for "Adventures in Intimacy" workshop for couples, March 19-22, 2004 in the Santa Cruz Mountains, only 20 minutes from San Jose International Airport.

For more information about this workshop please visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/hedyyumi.html

© 2004 by David Steele / All right reserved /
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com

Invitations:

• I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me at
• I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants a successful relationship. To pass the word about us to a friend or colleague, please visit http://www.buildingyouridealpractice.com/tellafriend.html
• I invite you to join our on-line community of helping professionals.
• I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings 24 hours a day at your convenience online. (some are also available by telephone):
  • Introduction to Relationship Coaching
  • Finding The Love Of Your Life AND The Life That You Love
  • Conscious Dating For Relationship Success
  • All About RCI
  • Practice Building Intensive (sample conference call)
  • Radical Thoughts on Converting Prospects to Clients
  • How To Design Compelling Marketing Strategies That Attracts Clients
  • And more!
• I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor coaching, etc.
• If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague, I invite you to visit our web site and contact us for information on joining us and becoming a RelationshipCoachingInstitute Relationship Coach. Ask about getting a free copy of our introductory audiotape, and about our free teleclasses.
• To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, or our newsletter for COUPLES, or our PRACTICE BUILDING newsletter, see this page.
• For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule, and enrollment info, visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com

How do you like our newsletter? Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....

Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute

www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org
www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
http://www.BuildingYourIdealPractice.com
www.ConsciousDating.com
www.ConsciousDating.org
www.PartnersInLife.org
www.David.Steele.name
888-268-4074

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The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform, and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find fulfillment in their lives and relationships.

This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!

Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.

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