“Emotional Freedom Techniques: The New Approach To Personal Power
That Works!” is now available from RCI thanks to Layne and Paul
Cutright of Enlightened Partners, who have pioneered the use of EFT with
relationships.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are simple and effective ways to handle
undesired emotional reactions. They are easily learned and you can teach
them to your clients.
Layne and Paul will be conducting “Fear Blaster!,” a free
one-hour teleclass EFT training Oct 3, 9, or 10, 5pm pacific/8pm eastern.
To register visit www.enlightenedpartners.com/teleclass.html
***See below for more information on EFT and training opportunities on-line
and by live teleclass.
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2. NEW E-BOOK BY DAVID STEELE- “HOW TO BUILD YOUR IDEAL PRACTICE
IN 90 DAYS”
This book can help you build the practice of your dreams with less time
and money than you ever thought possible. Full of free and low-cost practice
development resources.
· “Practical solutions that really work”
· “rich in content”
· “complete road map”
· “simple, yet powerful”
· “I’m working less, making more”
This brand new e-book has already collected an impressive list of testimonials.
FREE to RCI members.
---------------------------------------------------------------
3. PRACTICE BUILDING INTENSIVE STARTS OCT 1ST
This FREE program is open to all helping professionals, combining the
step-by-step, detailed instructions from “How To Build Your Ideal
Practice In 90 Days,” with weekly conference calls and an on-line
discussion list, for a powerful and affordable combination to support
you to have your ideal practice!
Join now! There’s still time. To register, send a blank e-mail
to pbi-oct02-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Please share with your colleagues!
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4. RCI COACH CONFERENCE CALLS
~ Oct 1; Singles Coaching with Laurie Cameron
~Oct 8; Practice Development with Laurie Cameron
~Oct 15; Couples Coaching with Linda Marshall
~Every Monday; RCI Member Support Tele-Forum with David Steele
Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st, 2nd,
and 3rd Tuesday of each month, 2:00pm pacific/5pm eastern. The RCI Member
Support Forum meets Mondays at 3pm eastern.
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5. NEW- WEEKLY RCI MEMBER SUPPORT TELE-FORUM
This weekly conference call will meet Mondays at 3pm eastern, with RCI/RCI
Founder and CEO David Steele. The purpose of this tele-forum is to support
RCI Coaches personally and professionally. Bring your relationship coaching
and practice building questions, ideas, cases, relationship and life dilemmas,
or whatever else is on your mind. This tele-forum is for YOU!
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6. NAME THAT PERSON!
What do you call a man or woman you are in a pre-committed relationship
with?
Frances Amaroux, a new RCI Coach from Australia asked this very profound
and simple question this month, and we have had a good time trying to
answer it.
What are the alternatives to “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”
when you are mature adults who are a couple, but not (yet) committed?
This is a very real lapse in our language! Since we coined the term “Pre-Committed
Relationship,” we consider it our responsibility to weigh in with
an appropriate label as well.
We have been playing with Beau, Significant Other, Very Special Person,
Main Squeeze, Gentleman Friend or Lady Friend, Attache’, Special
Relationship, Sweetheart, Friend, Special Friend, Love Interest, Beloved,
etc.
Help us make relationship history! Reply and share your idea for replacing
“boyfriend/girlfriend” or vote for one of the above.
Welcome New RCI Coaches!
The following coaches joined our ranks this past month:
Frances Amaroux, NSW, Australia
Toni Black, MA, Indianapolis, IN
Bonnie Cohen, Chapel Hill, NC
Eric Comstock, MA, Fishers, IN
Terri Cornish, MBA, Willows, CA
Elizabeth Crouch, Edmonds, WA
Layne Cutright, Carlsbad, CA
Paul Cutright, Carlsbad, CA
Rixie Dennison, Falls Church, VA
Myrna Hammerman, Ed.D, Winnetka, IL
Deb Hawkins, Sparks, NV
Diana Heidtke, MA, Woodstock, IL
Karen Jones, Andover, MA
Jeff Loether, Rockville, MD
David Mackinnon, PhD, Downers Grove, IL
Paulita Malay, MS, Burlingame, CA
Maya Mendoza, Middlesex, United Kingdom
Judith Minter, MSW, Charlottesville, VA
Darlene Nadeau, MA, Hollis, NH
Tamara Owen, Portland, OR
Thomas Popowics, MS, New York, NY
Rick Reddington, Long Beach, CA
Shelley Riutta, MS, Green Bay, WI
Ric Smith, Keizer, OR
Linda Stephens, Lahaina, HI
Simon Vaughan-Spencer, Malvern, United Kingdom
Frank Wiegers, JD, Topanga, CA
We wish to extend a special welcome to our newest RCI Coaches, Layne
and Paul Cutright of www.EnlightenedPartners.com,
a married couple who have been relationship coaching since the 70’s!
See their article on Emotional Freedom Techniques below. Expect to see
and hear more from this talented and pioneering couple.
THANK YOU to:
Barry North (WA) for referring Elizabeth Crouch
Theresa Napa (IL) for referring Myrna Hammerman
Joan Menke (CA) for referring Tamara Owen
Jack Hill (CA) for referring Ric Smith
And… THANK YOU for telling your colleagues about RCI!
Congrats!
CONGRATS to Salila Shen (CO) for becoming certified
as MASTER RELATIONSHIP COACH- our highest level of certification involving
master level certification for coaching couples as well as singles.
CONGRATS to Charlie Siegel (CA) for becoming certified
as “Master Relationship Coach For Singles,” who writes:
“Achieving my certification as an RCI Master Relationship Coach
for Singles has been valuable for my personal and professional growth.
Coaching individual clients and workshop participants through the RESTS
program and seeing the “lightbulbs” go off for them in their
awareness, patterns, habits, and skills, has been incredibly satisfying
and rewarding. Working as a teleclass co-leader and buddy coach allowed
me to develop my own skills as a facilitator/leader among my peers while
being carefully mentored throughout the processes. I was able to safely
“step out” beyond my comfort zone as a result of the support,
acknowledgement, and feedback I received from David, Laurie, and the
other coaches participating in my development as an RCI coach. Having
completed the Master Coach certification process has left me feeling
much more capable, competent, and confident as a relationship and personal
coach.”
CONGRATS TO June Safty Odergard (MT) for earning RCI
certification as “Certified Relationship Coach” for coaching
both singles and couples, a significant accomplishment!
CONGRATS TO Mary Ann Mineghino (CA) who just got married!
She is now Mary Ann Kilgore.
Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen!
It is my honor to be part of this community that is making such a difference
in the lives and relationships of others.
Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your RCI coaching
'find the love of their life and the life that they love?' Please pass
it on and we'll celebrate it!
Relationship Coaching Technology:
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES:
A RELATIONSHIP COACHING TOOL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY
By Paul and Layne Cutright
THE DRAMATIC CASE OF JOHN AND LISA
When “John” and “Lisa” walked through our door
together, it was the first time they had seen each other since his recent
affair while on a business trip.
John was in California and Lisa was on the other side of the country.
She had the feeling that he was having an affair, so she called him -
and he confirmed it. Lisa then called us and said she felt like killing
him and asked for an appointment. She flew in and he drove for about three
hours, showing up at the same time for their session with us.
It was taking everything they had to appear calm and rational on top
of a boiling cauldron of relationship pain. They looked as though their
emotions would burst out of control at any moment. She loved him but felt
betrayed, angry and hurt. He felt guilty, confused and he didn’t
want to confront her anger. It was a very strained situation, to say the
least.
We worked with them separately, for about an hour, using Emotional Freedom
Techniques to calm and heal their pain. She wanted to punish him, to vivisect
him and to hurt him as badly as she felt hurt. His feelings of guilt were
so overwhelming that he would have felt relieved to let her launch on
him, just to get it over with.
After the individual work, they sat on the couch looking into each other’s
eyes. Their energy was now completely different. It wasn’t that
the problem had been resolved but they had defused their emotional pain
sufficiently so they were able to think clearly. They were able to be
in one another’s presence and look at each other without feeling
like they were going to pop out of their skin. They were then able to
have a facilitated dialogue. They were able to ask questions, really listen
and start figuring out how the whole thing happened and what they wanted
to do about it. It had the potential to be a crisis that ended the marriage
or a catalyst for more intimacy and understanding.
After a total of about three hours they left holding hands and gazing
lovingly into each other’s eyes. They had essentially fallen back
in love with each other. Now, that’s a lot of territory to cover
in three hours. Of course, they had work to do when they got home, but
they were able to overcome a huge hurdle in a short period of time. They
were able to gain enough perspective to be able to see this as an evolutionary
learning opportunity and to embrace it as such.
ON THE LEADING EDGE
When they left, we talked about how grateful we are to have a coaching
tool so powerful that it can produce such stellar results so quickly.
We have been relationship educators and coaches since 1976 and we have
a reputation for being on the leading edge of the latest theories and
techniques for working with relationships. Even we were somewhat surprised
at what we had just seen happen.
What did we do that allowed John and Lisa to cover so much painful emotional
ground in such a short period of time? We used a meridian technique called
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) that stimulates the end points of the
major meridians by tapping on them with your fingertip. This simple tapping
exercise activates the natural healing ability of the body/mind system
to restore people to state of emotional balance and well-being. EFT helped
them clear the immediate pain, anger and guilt so they could access a
more elevated view of themselves and the affair.
COACHING TAKES A QUANTUM LEAP WITH EFT
We were introduced to EFT about four or five years ago. As we integrated
EFT into our repertoire of coaching skills, seemingly miraculous results
became the norm. If coaching can be compared to painting walls, before
EFT, coaching was like painting with a four-inch brush. Now, with EFT,
it’s like having a high-powered spray gun! Instead of taking days
or hours to paint a wall, it can be done in minutes.
EFT OVER THE TELEPHONE
I (Paul) worked with a woman, we’ll call her “Joan”,
who was in a painful relationship with a man who would never be able to
give her what she wanted, but she wasn’t able to move on. In fact,
Joan had been married to and divorced from him twice before and was on
her third marriage with him! And it was turning out just like the previous
two unions with him. When we began coaching she was desperate and resigned.
She was a new coach herself and wanted so much to have a successful relationship
and life she could be proud of, yet she felt stuck with no way out.
WHEN KNOWLEDGE IS NOT ENOUGH
Joan knew what some of the patterns were that were keeping her stuck
– low self-esteem and feeling undeserving of a great relationship,
fearing that if she let it go she would never have another relationship,
sacrificing her own well being for the relationship in the hopes it would
change. But, knowing these things was not helping her to make the internal
shifts necessary to move forward.
EFT was the primary tool I used in helping Joan to make the deep internal
changes necessary to heal her own self-image and accept new, positive
possibilities that were clearly there for her. We worked together for
a little over a year. During that time, she left her husband, began accepting
coaching clients, became a certified Yoga instructor, opened her own Yoga
studio, met a wonderful man who cherishes her and married him earlier
this year.
A swamp of doubt and fear existed between where Joan was when we started
coaching and where she wanted to be. EFT was the single most important
tool in our work together. Making the kinds of changes Joan made was not
an act of will power; it was the natural result of small but significant
energetic shifts that occurred within her energy field.
And, oh yes, all of this work was done over the phone because we live
a couple thousand miles away from each other. EFT is ideally suited to
work over the telephone because it is so easy to administer.
EFT- AN ESSENTIAL SKILL FOR COACHING RELATIONSHIPS
Imagine what it would be like to be able to offer a client something
more than comfort, inspiration, encouragement, challenge or even powerful
questions. With EFT you can offer them almost instant relief from relationship
pain, such as sorrow, hurt, abandonment, jealousy, resentment, fear, anxiety
and more.
EFT is also useful as a coach in your own process of evolution. We have
worked with many coaches who are becoming independent professionals for
the first time. Now, you have to do the marketing and sales of your own
coaching practice, which can seem like an overwhelming gauntlet of anxiety
and resistance. This can produce avoidance and procrastination when you
need to pick up the phone to call prospects – even when you know
they are expecting you to call.
There is absolutely no need to suffer through that process when you have
a tool available to so effectively manage your own emotional states and
self-talk. It is no longer necessary to muster up the strength to operate
over all that fear, anxiety and self-doubt when you can use EFT to clear
it away.
As we mentioned in the example of Joan, EFT is ideally suited for work
over the phone. It can be easily taught to clients as a self-help tool,
as well as delivered over the phone in coaching sessions.
We have now integrated EFT into what we call Relationship Energy Repatterning
(RER), which is a set of protocols and procedures for effecting lasting
positive change in relationships. If you are interested, you may learn
more about RER in this recent magazine interview – “Relationship
Energy Repatterning: A Breakthrough in Transcending Your Programming,”
at http://www.enlightenedpartners.com/tlcinterview8-02a.pdf
CONCLUSION
Relationship education and coaching has been a passionate commitment
of ours for over 25 years. We are continually on the lookout for easier,
more effective tools and methods for helping our clients. EFT is the simplest
and most potent tool we have discovered, so far. We believe every relationship
coach should have it in his or her repertoire of skills.
EFT TRAINING AVAILABLE ON-LINE AND BY TELECLASS
"When I first heard about EFT I said, 'No, it couldn't be that
easy to solve a long standing emotional problem!' Was I ever surprised!
This is really magic fairy dust - it works within minutes, painlessly
and is fun to do. Paul is one of the best teachers I've ever seen! What
a delightful learning experience. Everybody should learn EFT."
--William R. Dempsey, Ph.D
You Have an Untapped Power at Your Finger Tips to Relieve Relationship
Pain
Do you have clients who are in pain about a relationship?
Do you have clients who are sabotaging their efforts to create loving
relationships?
Do you have clients who are having a hard time letting go of a past
relationship?
If so, then you’ll want to know about Emotional Freedom Techniques
(EFT) and what it can do for your clients and your practice.
You can learn EFT in two ways:
Live 5 Day EFT TeleTraining - $149.00
Emotional Freedom Training Online Audio Program - $79.95
Both are 100% satisfaction guaranteed
***SPECIAL OFFER FOR RCI COACHING NEWS SUBSCRIBERS
Join an upcoming Live 5 Day EFT TeleTraining for only $125.00! This price
is not listed on our website. Just click on this special link the receive
the discounted tuition – http://tinyurl.com/1nky
The training is scheduled for Monday thru Friday October 14 –
18 at 8pm EST, 5pm PST
This training consists of five one-hour audio files, plus, 85 pages of
illustrated notes, an additional 50 page illustrated e-book on EFT and
two additional audio files of an hour and a half EFT demonstration for
over 800 people.
ADDITIONAL BONUS
We will include the Emotional Freedom Training Online Audio Program for
no additional charge when you take the Live 5 Day EFT TeleTraining! That’s
a savings of over $200.00 – all with a 100% money back guarantee
if you are not completely satisfied!
You will receive your Online Program just as soon as you register for
the Live TeleTraining so you can get started learning and using EFT right
away!
“so amazingly effective it seems like it can't be true! But,
believe it - it is very effective and it really works!"
“The technique was easy to learn and the results were immediate.”
“anyone, even children, can use this method”
“It works and it's short and simple”
“simple, easy, natural technique for producing balance in body
& mind”
"simple process, profoundly effective”
"I highly recommend this training to anyone who works with people.
Paul is a gifted teacher who makes this easy to learn”
Can’t take the live training? Sign up for the on-line version!
Interested? CLICK HERE- http://tinyurl.com/1nky
Practice Tips:
HOW TO GET AND USE TESTIMONIALS
by David Steele
Testimonials are crucial to marketing your services. They help answer
common objections, build your credibility, and stimulate your prospects
into action.
Take a look at the announcement for Paul and Layne’s EFT training
above. Do you see how much more credible and effective it is with the
testimonials?
Good testimonials are believable and compelling when they are SPECIFIC,
CONCISE, AND DRAMATIC.
A very effective way to get good testimonials is to interview your clients.
Yes, actually interview them!
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS FOR GETTING EFFECTIVE TESTIMONIALS
What made you decide to work with me?
What do you appreciate most about working with me?
What do you most value about how I work with you?
What pivotal moment or event in our working together made a big difference
for you?
How is your life different as a result of our working together?
Would you recommend me to others? What would you tell them?
Transcribe the interview then edit their comments down to the fewest
words possible.
Then, share the result with your client and ask them for their permission
to use it with their name. Testimonials are far more credible if you are
able to quote the source by name.
WHERE TO USE TESTIMONIALS
Web site
Brochure
Announcements, fliers, and sales letters
Newsletter
Books and e-books
EXAMPLE OF A GOOD TESTIMONIAL
Take a look at the testimonials on
this page. Notice the five testimonials at the top:
· “Practical solutions that really work”
· “rich in content”
· “complete road map”
· “simple, yet powerful”
· “working less, making more”
Concise? Dramatic? Specific?
Realize they are highly edited from actual testimonials that are longer.
For example, "working less, making more" came from the following
testimonial that appears further down on the page:
"How To Build Your Ideal Practice In 90 Days has been a reat
help in building and transforming my practice. After being in private
practice for 12 years, I finally found someone to teach me about the
business of it all. The clincher, however, is that it all works!! I
am working less, making more, but most of all, I am having more fun
and feeling more in control of what I do.....
Thanks David!!”
--Ken Donaldson, M.A., L.M.H.C., Seminole, FL
Of course, the above version is edited as well! As you read it, ending
with Ken's name, city, and state, do you see how effective it is to be
able to use his name?
Try reading it and cover up the name... see the difference?
As you scroll down that page
and skim the testimonials, do you see how they help overcome common objections,
build credibility, and stimulate prospects into action?
CONCLUSION
Good testimonials don't expire, they can be used again and again for
a long time. It is absolutely worth overcoming your resistance and taking
the time and trouble to collect them.
When you have them- USE THEM! Help your prospects become comfortable
with you by sharing what others have experienced about you
Invitations:
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice
tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me
at
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a
tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship
Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market
niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants
a successful relationship.
Finding The Love Of Your Life AND The Life That You Love
Conscious Dating For Relationship Success
All About RCI
Practice Building Intensive (sample conference call)
And more!
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your
practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor
coaching, etc.
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague,
I invite you to visit our web site and contact
us for information on joining us and becoming a RelationshipCoachingInstitute
Relationship Coach. Ask about getting a free copy of our introductory
audiotape, and about our free teleclasses.
To subscribe to this newsletter, our newsletter for SINGLES, or our
newsletter for COUPLES, see this page.
For a description of RCI relationship coaching trainings, schedule,
and enrollment info, visit http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
How do you like our newsletter?
Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....
Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of RelationshipCoachingInstitute/Relationship Coaching Institute
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform,
and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find
fulfillment in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RCI Relationship
Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free to share this
with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!
Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles
find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples
co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.
Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are
reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information
and authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055
