“RelationshipCoachingInstitute” will continue to provide relationship coaching
for singles and couples, while “Relationship Coaching Institute”
will provide relationship coaching training, certification, and practice
development for helping professionals. We continue to be the first, largest,
and only international relationship coaching organization. Check out our
new web site at http://www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
"Introduction To Relationship Coaching For Singles"; 3 one
hour teleclasses, December 3, 5, and 7; 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern. This
class will cover how to coach singles and develop a successful Relationship
Coaching practice, conducted by David Steele, Laurie Cameron, Jana Collar,
and Colleen DeCew. Please pass this on to your colleagues! To register,
visit www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com/teleclass.htm
Learn how to effectively use the media to market your practice. One hour
teleclass featuring PR guru Jill Lublin, Wednesday, Dec 5, 4pm pacific/7pm
eastern.
Check out Jill’s article “Seven Steps Of Guerilla Marketing“
in last month’s newsletter at http://RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com/pro/archive/2001-11.htm#PracticeTips
Well… depends upon how you define “soon!” This book has
been waiting four years to be written, and is well under way. Check out
http://www.ConsciousDating.com and
sign up to receive an autographed early edition.
By the way, I created the above web site myself (my first!) using Total
Coach Solutions. I highly recommend them for a cost effective, do-it-yourself
web site. Check out http://www.myaffiliateprogram.com/u/tcs/t.asp?id=1043
We will soon be able to provide CEU’s for our relationship coaching
trainings to most mental health professionals and ICF certified coaches.
Watch this space for more on this topic in the next month or two.
~Dec 4; Singles Coaching with Laurie Cameron
~Dec 11; Practice Development with Laurie Cameron
~Dec 18; Couples Coaching with Linda Marshall
Our conference calls are FREE to RCI Coaches, and fall on the 1st, 2nd,
and 3rd Tuesday of each month, 9:00am pacific/Noon eastern
Welcome New RCI Coaches!
The following coaches joined our ranks this past month:
Roberta Banks, West Lake Village, CA
Soraya Khalili, San Jose, CA
Faith Meenan, M.Ed., Colorado Springs, CO
Teresa Regan, M.S., Kirkland, WA
THANK YOU to:
~Jan Bennett (WA) for referring Teresa Regan!
Many of our new coaches come to RCI by word of mouth; we appreciate your
confidence in us by telling your colleagues!
Congrats!
CONGRATS TO Paula Iland (Sydney, Australia) who writes:
“I just did session one of my first RESTS course--I havesix lovely
women here in Sydney doing it--we had a great night. I'm so looking forward
to taking them through this 8 week journey! Happy Thanksgiving from Down
Under.”
CONGRATS TO Wendy Slotton (San Anselmo, CA) who writes:
“I have news as well.At a free introduction to RESTS last week,
I met a woman who runs an online dating service and she has asked me to
be the relationship guru for their site! This is very exciting. They haven't
launched yet and they already have over 1000 members in the U.S. and U.K.!”
CONGRATS TO Bill Crump (Greenville, SC) who writes:
“I am returning to the company I left 10 years ago with an assignment
to build a craft training program for 13,000 people of Kazakhstan. Really!
I will commute between there and London for three years. You and all the
coaches are doing remarkable work, and you have my very best regards.”
CONGRATS TO Lauren Wilkins (Santa Barbara, CA) who writes:
“I'm holding my first RESTS class and loving every minute of it!
The women are so inspired and I feel very excited about the potential.
I was invited to write an article for the local high-tech paper on Career
Coaching and it will be in print either December or January. I also have
a columnist for a paper that circulates in the wealthiest area of Santa
Barbara writing a column about me! (It's the Montecito Journal, that's
where Oprah bought her 50 Million $ mansion) Things are going very well!
I'm creating a brochure under the theme "Give Wings to Your Dreams"
and planning to change my website to reflect this as well. I competed
my coaching certification and am now Coach Lauren Wilkins, CPC.”
CONGRATS TO Nancy Polites (Newport Beach, CA) who writes:
“I'm teaching a RESTS class beginning this Monday, the 12th, for
6 weeks and I have 11 signups so far.I'm very excited about doing it.
I talked with Laurie two weeks ago and she gave me some very good pointers.
I am very enthusiastic about doing the class!
CONGRATS TO Sally Goldberg (Boca Raton, FL) who writes:
“I just got back from a conference in Anaheim, CA to present my
new book. This is the first of a series of four with Perseus Books. Another
new book is expected out in December with Allyn & Bacon. They are
all for parents of young children. This new one BABY AND TODDLER LEARNING
FUN shows with many illustrations how to set up an educationally stimulating
environment. The emphasis is on using simple things from around the house
to teach and how to network with other parents.”
Our coaches are certainly committed, talented, and making things happen!
It is my honor to be part of this community that is making such a difference
in the lives and relationships of others.
Have a win you would like to share? Any graduates from your RCI coaching
"find the love of their life and the life that they love?" Please
pass it on and we'll celebrate it!
Relationship Coaching Technology:
TWO CREATIVE TOOLS FOR COUPLES: ONE WAY DATES and ONE-WAY DECISION MAKING
By David Steele
TOOL #1: ONE WAY DATES
Over time, couples can easily develop routines that become ruts.
Does this sound familiar?
Partner #1: “What do you want to do?”
Partner #2: “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?”
Then they end up doing pretty much the same thing they have done before.
Couples can also fall into “compromise ruts,” where each gives
up what they really want to do in order to find something they can both
agree upon. For example, in choosing movies, he might love action-adventure,
she might love drama, and they might routinely compromise on comedies.
After awhile, this might get old! (True story- happened to me!)
What’s the alternative? How can couples keep dating each other fresh
and exciting?
Try rotating the following four ONE-WAY DATES:
TYPE 1: Partner #1 creates an experience for partner #2
The purpose of this date is to give a gift and please partner #2 one
hundred percent. This doesn’t have to cost anything, and doesn’t
even require going anywhere, as long as the time and activities are
creatively focused on what would please partner #2.
TYPE 2: Switch; partner #2 creates an experience for partner #1
TYPE 3: Partner #1 creates a self-centered experience
The purpose of this date is for partner #1 to please themselves 100%,
to have fun exactly the way they want, sharing the experience with partner
#2 in the way they wish, but not worrying about partner #2’s experience
at all.
TYPE 4: Switch; partner #2 creates a self-centered experience
To work, this requires planning and coordination. I suggest couples plan
their dates and one-way types on a calendar a year in advance. This may
sacrifice the spontaneity that some prefer but often can’t sustain,
for intentionality that can continue to create romantic closeness and
excitement for decades to come.
I have found that trying to reach agreement on everything can hinder
creativity and dilute the possibilities. Using these One Way Dates allows
for each partner to freely and creatively choose activities that would
truly please themselves or their partner, without eliminating exciting
choices trying to please both.
TOOL #2: ONE-WAY DECISION MAKING
As much as we value mutuality and agreement, wouldn’t it be nice
to get your way sometimes, even when your partner disagrees?
Similar to the “One Way Date” is the GIMME.
A “Gimme” is a request one partner makes of another, when there
is something they would really like to have or do that the partner disagrees
with.
Let’s say that partner #1 really wants to go to the opera, but partner
#2 hates the opera. Partner #1 really wants to go, but doesn’t want
to go alone or with someone else, they want to go with their partner!
Partner #1 could ask for a “gimme” which means “please
do this as a gift for me, not because you agree or want to, but give this
to me because you love me and want me to be happy.”
Ground rules:
A gimme is not asked for lightly or often
When asked for a gimme, try your best to say “Yes”
When delivering a gimme, do so with a positive attitude
The gimme is a gift, delivered with unconditional love,
without expectation of a quid pro quo
Sometimes in a relationship, ONE way is the BEST way!
Practice Tips:
GET RESULTS WITH A “CALL TO ACTION”
A "Call To Action" is an invitation for your prospective clients
to actively engage you in some way- directly or indirectly.
Most prospective clients, even if they are very interested in working
with you, often need a way to build a relationship with you in bite-sized
pieces to work up to engaging your services.
Effective marketing will ALWAYS include a SPECIFIC, EASY, TARGETED, COMPELLING,
and usually FREE, call to action.
Everything you send out can and should include a call to action; e-mails
(in the signature line), web site, flyers, business card, advertising,
announcements, newsletters, even the outgoing greeting of your voicemail
system.
KEY QUESTION: What can you invite your prospective clients to do, what
can you offer them, that they would be likely to act upon, that would
build your relationship with them?
Common calls to action for coaches include offering a free coaching session,
contacting you for more information, subscribing to your newsletter, and
visiting your web site. They are OK, but there are so many interesting
alternatives…
-Free “How-To” articles, tips lists by auto responder
-Significant discount for fast response, early registration
-“Ask The Coach” feature on web site and/or newsletter
-Free participation in pilot program
-Participate in research project
-Scheduled instant messaging (IM) chat hours
-Scheduled telephone call-in hours
-Tip Of The Week
For example, if you are a relationship coach targeting couples, in your
e-mail signature line and newsletter you could put the following:
"Want BETTER COMMUNICATION with your partner? E-mail (auto-responder)
for your copy of my 'Top 5 Communication Tips For Couples' "
AND/OR-
“FREE ONLINE COACHING! Join me for “LoveCoach Chat” on
AIM Tuesdays and Thursdays 7-9pm. Screen name “LoveCoach”. E-mail
(auto-responder) if you would like information about downloading and using
AIM.”
Of course, along with the auto-responder e-mail you would send a warm
letter inviting them to take further action to engage you....
----------------------------
NOW, HERE IS A CALL TO ACTION FOR YOU!
Build Your Dream Practice In 2002
Join our Practice Building Intensive 3 month program for only $59.00.
FREE to PBI alumni and RCI members. Starts January 3rd. For
more info visit
1. Introduction to Relationship Coaching For Singles
Free, three teleclass series open to all helping professionals.
Mon/Wed/Fri 9am pacific/Noon eastern
Mar 4,6,8
May 13,15,17
July 22,24,26
Sep 30, Oct 2, 4
2. Relationship Coaching For Singles, Level I:
Readiness Coaching Training
Eight Wednesdays, 9am pacific/Noon eastern
Jan 9 - Feb 27
Mar 20 - May 8
May 29 - July 17
Aug 7 - Sep 25
Oct 16 - December 11 (Not Nov 27)
3. Relationship Coaching For Singles, Level II:
Attraction Coaching Training
Four Thursdays, 10am pacific/1pm eastern
Jan 3,10, 17, 24
March 7, 14, 21, 28
May 2, 9, 16, 23
July 11, 18, 25, 8/1
Oct 3, 10, 17, 24
4. Relationship Coaching For Couples, Level I:
Pre-Commitment/Pre-marital Coaching Training
Eight Fridays, 11am pacific/2pm eastern
Jan 4 - Feb 22
Mar 1 - Apr 26
May 10 - June 28
Sept 6 - October 25
5. Relationship Coaching for Couples, Level II:
Committed Couples Coaching Training
Nine Mondays, 11am pacific/2pm eastern
Jan 7 - Mar 4
Mar 11 - May 6
May 13 - July 15
Sept 9 - Nov 4
Please note that training dates are subject to change
Invitations:
I invite you to share your announcements, wins, coaching or practice
tips with the rest of us. Be visible! Let's connect! Send them to me
at
I invite you to share this newsletter with a colleague. There is a
tremendous need for our services, and we need to work together. Relationship
Coaching is in its infancy, and we must collaborate to build our market
niche and position as a resource of wide appeal for anyone who wants
a successful relationship.
I invite you to listen to the following introductory recordings FREE
(except for long distance charges) 24 hours a day at your convenience
online,
or by calling 918-222-7201 and entering the extension #:
#347: Introduction to Relationship Coaching for Singles
#346: Finding The Love Of Your Life AND The Life That You Love
#345: Conscious Dating For Relationship Success
I invite you to get the support you need to be successful in your
practice. We are available for information, training, ideas, mentor
coaching, etc.
If you are a coach or therapist who received this from a colleague,
I invite you to visit our web site and contact us at http://RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com/contact.htm
for information on joining us and becoming a RelationshipCoachingInstitute Relationship
Coach. Ask about getting a free copy of our introductory audiotape,
and about our free teleclasses.
How do you like our newsletter?
Your feedback is welcome! Until next time....
Best regards,
David Steele, MA, LMFT
Relationship Coach
CEO and Founder of RelationshipCoachingInstitute
The purpose of this newsletter is to connect, support each other, inform,
and build a strong community of coaches dedicated to helping people find
fulfillment in their lives and relationships.
This monthly newsletter is written for the benefit of RelationshipCoachingInstitute
Relationship Coaches, and is available to interested others. Feel free
to share this with a colleague. Your submissions and feedback are welcome!
Our Mission: To provide the tools, information and support to help singles
find the love of their life and the life that they love, and to help couples
co-create fulfilling and lasting Life Partnerships.
Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights are reserved.
Feel free to share with others as long as our contact information and
authorship is included. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN#:1530-3055
